Sunday, August 31, 2008

Palin is a Stunning Canidate! Listen to her words...

Sarah says all I ever wanted to say about her...herself in this speech she gave on TV...just read it and listen..She is a stunning Canidate!

Governor Sarah Palin delivered the following remarks after John McCain announced that she was joining the ticket as the nominee for Vice President.Governor Sarah Palin: "And I thank you, Senator McCain and Mrs. McCain, for the confidence that you have placed in me. Senator, I am honored to be chosen as your running mate. I will be honored to serve next to the next president of the United States."I know that when Senator McCain gave me this opportunity, he had a short list of highly qualified men and women, and to have made that list at all -- it was a privilege. And to have been chosen brings a great challenge. I know that it will demand the best that I have to give, and I promise nothing less."First, there are a few people whom I would like you to meet. I want to start with my husband, Todd. And Todd and I are actually celebrating our 20th anniversary today, and I promised him a little surprise for the anniversary present, and hopefully he knows that I did deliver."And then we have as -- after my husband, who is a lifelong commercial fisherman, lifetime Alaskan -- he's a production operator. Todd is a production operator in the oil fields up on Alaska's North Slope, and he's a proud member of the United Steelworkers Union, and he's a world champion snow machine racer. Todd and I met way back in high school, and I can tell you that he is still the man that I admire most in this world."Along the way, Todd and I have shared many blessings, and four out of five of them are here with us today. Our oldest son, Track, though, he'll be following the presidential campaign from afar. On September 11th of last year, our son enlisted in the United States Army. Track now serves in an infantry brigade. And on September 11th, Track will deploy to Iraq in the service of his country. And Todd and I are so proud of him and of all the fine men and women serving the country in uniform."Next to Todd is our daughter Bristol; another daughter, Willow; our youngest daughter, Piper; and over in their arms is our son Trig, a beautiful baby boy. He was born just in April. His name is Trig Paxson Van Palin."Some of life's greatest opportunities come unexpectedly, and this is certainly the case today. I never really set out to be involved in public affairs, much less to run for this office. My mom and dad both worked at the local elementary school. And my husband and I, we both grew up working with our hands."I was just your average 'hockey mom' in Alaska. We were busy raising our kids. I was serving as the team mom and coaching some basketball on the side. I got involved in the PTA and then was elected to the city council and then elected mayor of my hometown, where my agenda was to stop wasteful spending and cut property taxes and put the people first."I was then appointed ethics commissioner and chairman of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission, and when I found corruption there, I fought it hard and I held the offenders to account. Along with fellow reformers in the great state of Alaska, as governor, I've stood up to the old politics as usual, to the special interests, to the lobbyists, the Big Oil companies and the 'good old boy' network."When oil and gas prices went up so dramatically and the state revenues followed with that increase, I sent a large share of that revenue directly back to the people of Alaska -- and we are now -- we're now embarking on a $40 billion natural gas pipeline to help lead America to energy independence."I signed major ethics reforms, and I appointed both Democrats and independents to serve in my administration. And I've championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. In fact, I told Congress thanks, but no thanks, on that "Bridge to Nowhere." If our state wanted a bridge, I said, we'd build it ourselves."Well, it's always, though, safer in politics to avoid risk, to just kind of go along with the status quo. But I didn't get into government to do the safe and easy things. A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not why the ship is built. Politics isn't just a game of competing interests and clashing parties. The people of America expect us to seek public office and to serve for the right reasons. And the right reason is to challenge the status quo and to serve the common good."Now, no one expects us to agree on everything, whether in Juneau or in Washington. But we are expected to govern with integrity and good will and clear convictions and a servant's heart."Now, no leader in America has shown these qualities so clearly or presents so clear a threat to business as usual in Washington as Senator John S. McCain. This -- this is a moment when principles and political independence matter a lot more than just the party line. And this is a man who has always been there to serve his country, not just his party."And this is a moment that requires resolve and toughness and strength of heart in the American president. And my running mate is a man who has shown those qualities in the darkest of places and in the service of his country. A colleague once said about Senator McCain: That man did things for this country that few people could go through; never forget that. And that speaker was former Senator John Glenn of Ohio. And John Glenn knows something about heroism."And I'm going to make sure nobody does forget that in his campaign. There is only one candidate who has truly fought for America, and that man is John McCain."This is a moment -- this is a moment when great causes can be won and great threats overcome, depending on the judgment of our next president. In a dangerous world, it is John McCain who will lead America's friends and allies in preventing Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons."It was John McCain who cautioned long ago about the harm that Russian aggression could do to Georgia and to other small Democratic neighbors and to the world oil markets."It was Senator McCain who refused to hedge his support for our troops in Iraq, regardless of the political costs. And you know what? As the mother of one of those troops and as the commander of Alaska's National Guard, that's the kind of man I want as our commander in chief."Profiles in courage, they can be hard to come by these days. You know, so often we just find them in books. But next week when we nominate John McCain for president, we're putting one on the ballot!"To serve as vice president beside such a man would be the privilege of a lifetime, and it's fitting that this trust has been given to me 88 years almost to the day after the women of America first gained the right to vote."I think as well today of two other women who came before me in national elections. I can't begin this great effort without honoring the achievements of Geraldine Ferraro in 1984, and, of course, Senator Hillary Clinton, who showed such determination and grace in her presidential campaign."It was rightly noted in Denver this week that Hillary left 18 million cracks in the highest, hardest glass ceiling in America. But it turns out the women of America aren't finished yet, and we can shatter that glass ceiling once and for all."So for my part, the mission is clear. The next 67 days I'm going to take our campaign to every part of our country and our message of reform to every voter of every background, in every political party, or no party at all. If you want change in Washington, if you hope for a better America, then we're asking for your vote on the 4th of November."My fellow Americans, come join our cause. Join our cause and help our country to elect a great man the next president of the United States. And I thank you, and I -- God bless you, I say, and God bless America. Thank you."

Are you ready for another Maverick? - Palin

I am just overwhelmingly happy with McCain's selection of Sarah Palin. The more I read about her, listen to her and research her...I wish she was running for President!
I love her backbone, solid convictions, unscripted-straight forward talk, her young family, her refusal to buckled to party elites! It gives me great confidence in McCain's ability to pick winners for the Supreme Court when that time comes.
This is going to be a very interesting presidential election. The Republican ticket now has two independent thinkers who are secure enough in themselves and what they believe that they can come together on one ticket and have some strong differing views.
It is a fact that you are never going to agree with someone all the time. It is nice when their can be a mutual respect between two people which some differing options...enough respect to stand side-by-side on a united presidential ticket!
Most fair-minded women are going to have a hard time disliking Sarah Palin, even if they don't agree with her on every issue she hold dear. She is a courageous strong female. She stands up to "the white, rich, men's only club". She does what she feels is the right thing to do regardless of party unity or possible hurt egos/feelings. She doesn't only speak about issues, she lives them (point in case, with giving birth to her new dear baby who was preterm diagnosed with down syndrome.
I love the way she cuts out prized pet-projects that are really wasteful pork-barrel spending, the way she uses her authority to release people working in her administration and starting fresh was people she knows will work with her, the way she boldly build a huge surplus in Alaska's state treasury by cutting budget and taking advantage of her state's natural resources, and how she has already funding the building of a natural gas pipeline through Canada in advance preparation for the Congress to get off their hands and pass laws to release our own Countries' fuel!
Some people are scared of her...of what she might say....of her lack of national experience...of her being a young family mom...of being unable to control, mold, package. Democrats are recording everything she says, combing it over and over looking for a gaffe, a slip, a wrong phrase or word! I hope when they find it they will remember that Obama thought we had 58 states in one speech...and made numerous other mistakes...that were played-down by everyone as 'that was not his real intention', 'he was just tired', 'it is only human to make mistakes when you speak so much everyday'.
Way to Go, McCain! Now I have a reason to be totally excited about this November 2008 Presidential election and I even have a female role model to point my daughter to and give her hope that she too could be the President of United States! From PTA to VP of USA, I can hear the cheers of all the moms that have carried the weight of so many local, volunteer, social, educational responsibilities for all these year! The common person can relate. The soccer mom can stand tall. The stay-at-home-mom can dream big dreams. We now have a voice on her way to Washington

How to Fight Against Hurricane Apathy

We - as a Nation - must be cautious to not be apathetic to the residents of New Orleans....or any other city.

These kind of thoughts may arise: "didn't we just 3 years ago give time, money, service, sacrificially to help these same people...and now they need it again"

This is not the time to question whether the government of LA/ New Orleans was fiscally responsible with the money poured into the is not important to rebuild a city...a piece of land....what we need to focus on as a Nation is the individuals, the people.

And yes, many of the people during the aftermath of Katrina abused the system...spent debit cards on foolishness...wasted government checks on wants and silly luxuries ignoring real life necessities....but countless more did use the money to restart, rebuild, sustain life! you go about life as usually...stop whenever it comes to mind...and pray for these hurting people...many who will be spending the next 24-36 hours in a car, on a highway, trying to get to "safety".

Pray for the National Guard (2000 people) that we be riding this terrible storm stay behind, putting their life in danger, to make certain that there is peace in the streets after the storm that the murder, abuse and looting of Katrina does not reoccur.

Also the staff in charge of the pumping system is for the most part staying behind...pray for these people and their families.

To learn more about the physical under sea level problem of flood waters in New Orleans look at this National Geographic video This may give you a better understanding of what the city is up against...when it comes to high levels of rain...and why this storm, and Katrina was so devastating!

Now all we can do is pray, help those we come in contact with and wait until the storm hits. I hope to write again as I get more personal information from family members...on what is happening and how people are handling Gustav!

Warning! Gustav is a Trauma Trigger!

Gustav is already doing a lot of devastation in the hearts and spirits of those who lived through the wreckage of Katrina. It is very clear that the emotional toil is great! Trauma is very hard for us to process. Most of the wounds and pain caused by Katrina have not healed yet. I have heard several family members and other New Orleans residents state, "Life was just getting back to normal....Our city was beginning to look as though a storm had not devastated it....My children were just getting settled into schools, making new friends, getting routines established...We just finished all the work on our home...We finally got the insurance settlement to begin to build."

This is not only discouraging, it is numbing! For many hurting people they are reliving one of life's greatest traumas - being physically relocated in an emergency, forced to select items that are most important, surviving enormous evacuation travel, driving away from their "homes" knowing they may never see them again. Can you just imagine the emotional horror....the dread of pushing through the feelings of not wanting to do this order to act responsibly to get their families to safety.

I am most certain that many residents are not able to think rationally, functioning on whatever automatic pilot that is left, trying to distance themselves from the televised facts, disassociating in order to protect their very soul from further intense trauma.

When someone experiences trauma triggers they are taken back - its like passing through a time warp - to the same feelings, thoughts, and experiences - of the initial trauma...that for most of these people would be Katrina. The emotional trauma triggers can be so intense that it will literally cause physical and chemical bodily reactions as though they were right back in the days before, during and after Katrina. While experiencing trauma triggers it is hard to separate current reality from past experience reality. Often the too can blend. All of the emotions of the past experience will ungulf the soul as thought they are right back in the initial trauma.
During these times of trauma triggers, it is very hard to hold onto spiritual truths, such as "possessions are just stuff, it is the people that are valuable, that you can't take any stuff with you when you die and enter eternal life, that it really doesn't belong to them anyway - they are just stewards of what really belongs to God." It is hard enough learn and live by those principles in normal daily is near impossible to hear, understand or hold onto them in the middle of a taumatic crisis.

The people are feeling any possible combination of fear, impending death, loss, grief, anger, disbelief, apathy, forsaken, victimized, hopeless, helpless, suicidal, revenge, worthless, unstable, numb, and many more feelings. It is important to remember if you are helping anyone coming out of this area, to be very attuned to listening to their heart. Validate their feelings, don't say "nice little comforting statements" that will minimize their pain. One of the best things you can say is, "I am so sorry!" And if and when appropriate, lend a shoulder for them to cry on and give them a deep loving hug. Let them know you don't fully understand but that you know it is terribly painful...if they begin to share.

By validating, you can say things like "you should be angry...frustrated...hopeless....", reiterating back anything that they tell you or attempt to express to you... let them know they are only human to have these thoughts and feelings. Love them unconditionally and provide random acts of kindness/ thoughtfulness.

There is a time and a place for healing, for giving sound advice, for helping people to see life's circumstances through God's truths and Sovereign love. But a person must first be able to express how they feel, to identify their weaknesses, to confess their true inner self. This can only be done with a person that listens with love and grace, who doesn't judge, who is not critical, who is not going to try to fix everything, but who is going to serve, encourage, get underneath the person to help carry them or hold them up. The only way you will be strong enough to help is if you center yourself in the One true Living God - Jesus.

Look, serve, listen and help through Him, with His view and His mindset. Pray! In your weakness, confessed to Him, you will be made strong to do what you must. Your actions will speak volumes to these dear hurting people. Allow yourself to be God's ministering stranger to anyone that He puts in your path to help. You have a blessed opportunity to be God's hands, everything to His glory. Let me know how God uses you by commenting back.

Friday, August 29, 2008

What Everyone Ought to Know about Sarah Palin!

Sarah Palin, Republican Vice-President Canidate

Well, it seems McCain has finally picked a VP running mate, and I think I like her a lot better than I do him! Sarah Palin is my kind of lady!
Sarah Palin is the current governor of Alaska. She is 44 years old, born in Idaho, and a journalism major. She became the first female governor of Alaska, and the youngest. She is the first Alaskan to be on a National Ticket for president or vice-president!
She is a Christian believer in Jesus Christ and a member of the Assemblies of God. She was raised by a mother that was a school secretary and a father that was a science teacher and track coach. Her family was avid outdoor enthusiast and they frequently ran 5-10K races together. Her family moved to Alaska when she was an infant. Her scholarship she received as runner-up in the Alaskan beauty pageant paid for her college tuition to University of Idaho.
She is courageous, boldly doing what is right in the sight of God! She recently had her 5th child in April 2008. This precious little boy was diagnosed at 4th months of pregnancy as have Down Syndrome....she was stunned as any mother would be to hear such news, but both she and her husband quickly accepted this child as a divine gift from God and never once would entertain abortion (ending the child's life in the womb).
After delivering the baby she returned to her position as Governor of Alaska in three days. She was determined to carry out her responsibilities to the State of Alaska as well as to her family. Her oldest son will be deployed to Iraq in September 2008! And between these two sons, she has 3 girls.
She is an avid hunter and a lifetime member of NRA. As a child she would wake at 3 am before school and go moose hunter with her father. She eats mooseburgers, and played basketball so aggressively during school that she was nicknamed, "Sarah Barracuda"!
Sarah Palin does not pander to the Republican Party elites...she ran for political office even when she was not supported by the party to run. She goes after politicians - regardless of their party affiliation to clean up their ethical life and to be held accountable for misuse and mismanagement of tax dollars and public funds.
A few days after taking office as governor she sold the previous Republican governors jet which was charged to the state for $2.7 million. On ebay, she raised $2.1 million and applied it toward the debt. She vowed if a plane was bought again for state use it would be practical and able to land in rural parts of Alaska, not be a flashy, status-symbol and a waste of taxpayers' money.
She has created a budget surplus by cutting pork-barrel spending, and a lot of it was Republican pet-projects. Governor Palin wanted her state to be self-sufficient and not having to rely on federal dollars. She has used her states natural resources wisely and has had a natural pipeline being constructed to send fuel to the lower 48 states. Her budget surplus allowed her to give grants to energy companies that in turn could pass the saving by lower consumer costs. She also gave a tax credit to Alaskan citizens for fuel. This year in 2008, the dividend check will be close to $3200!

Governor Palin is for a federal marriage amendment and does not support same-sex marriages or benefits, but she does have gay friends and does not tolerate hate or targeted discrimination. She desire for creation education to be taught in school along the side of the theory of evolution, but does not think it should be mandated into law. She firmly believes in the Almighty God as the creator, and sees evolution as a theory created by man.
I am sure we will learn a lot more about Governor Sarah Palin, but I already know I would like her as a friend. She is a women after my own heart! And I for one am proud that she is going to be on the Republican Presidential Ticket!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

How understanding my spirit made me healable!

We all are blessed with those "aha" moments in life...some of us more frequent then was like in high school when I stopped trying to figure out in algebra what in the world the "x", "y" or "a" was and just worked the problem in the proper mathematical order....kinda like following rules to a game ....without analyzing the thoughts behind or in the game. After that "aha" moment I never had another problem in two years of algebra.

Or the big life "aha" when I was sitting in a small United Methodist church in a small college town and listening to the pastor preach but also looking at the light shine in through the window....and in an instant my soul clearly understood and accepted that Jesus, that little baby that was born to virgin Mary in the manger scene...well, that same little boy that grew into a miracle performer-man was none other than GOD! Jesus is God! Jesus is GOD! I guess that was more like a Wow Aha moment!

Well, here I am today...ponder to topic of body, soul, and spirit with a dear friend...chatting away and stumbling upon this 'aha moment' spirit is what was dead and now is spirit is what God meant when He said the old has passed away and all things are made new...I am not the old sinful dead spirit creature I once was, by God's loving grace, I am truly alive in Him. My spirit is indwelled by the Holy Spirit...but uniquely separate in identity from the spirit is justified, positionally glorified, seated currently in the heavenlies, filled with God's spirit, given His fruit, righteous in the sight of God, whole, pure, clean...."aha!"

So that is what it means in the Bible when God says I am a new creature and all the old me has passed spiritual being...the very part of me that is God- breathed...the part of me that is sealed in the palm of God's hand...the me that is unable to be harmed, unable to be destroyed, unable to be damaged goods! That is the great mystery...God in me and me in God!

I always saw it like the stories I was my spirit was this circle with a big square hollow spot in a that could only be filled by God. And I imagined when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior that the Holy Spirit took His place in my spirit hole. But I never realized that it was spiritual core essence of who God created me to be...the part of ME that is separate from my physical body and heart/soul (which includes my mind, my will and my emotions)....that I am spirit...I am not just filled by His Spirit!

OK, I know this is a little heady....may take some pondering...I will try to follow in later blogs with Bible verses, as I study it out in His Word!

But two super truths come to me from this "aha moment"...1) My spirit is new, regenerated, whole, undamaged, totally connected to God and 2) No one..human or spiritual can touch my spirit except God!!!! I am safe! I am covered! I am whole! I am new! I am good!

This will be a great help in working with God to heal my wounded heart/soul (mind, will and emotions)! I look forward to life living in this reality and truth! Have a blessed day!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Be Warned!, Read the Whole Truth! about Obama

I love writing about my family, the insights God give me daily, and about my love for God and others. It is not always fun to write about politics...maybe in our day and age it is never fun! But I am compelled by seeking truth, because Jesus is the truth! Jesus would have his sons and daughters to be knowledgeable of full truth....not bits and pieces mixed up in a way that could mislead and even teach untruths.

So as a citizen of one of the greatest Nations of all history, we owe it to ourselves to be educated when making voting decisions, to not believe everything we read, and to dig a little to find the unedited facts....the whole speech...the whole comment....the whole story. It is the very same way we read God's Word. Every verse must be taken in context of its surrounding versing, its chapter, book and the entire Bible as a whole. A life doctrine can not be based off of a single verse without making sure that it is clear, within context, and properly translated.

Finding the truth can take a little more work, than just watching a youtube video or a tv commercial. You would be better educated to read the actual text, the unedited words of the entire speech. Yes, it takes more time...and you will have to really think and analyze what is being said. You will have to learn to read slowly and to read with an eye that looks for the authors worldview and look at what is not said, as much as what is said. It takes thinking! Something we don't take a lot of time to do in our video driven, gaming, texting society.

So here are the complete facts...The website for Obama's entire speech, the Keynote Address 'Call to Renewal' can be read on very own federal government senate website:

And then you can print it out and read it. You can carefully consider his words, discover his worldview, and have a deeper understanding for the person he claims to be. And you can compare his words in full context to the phamerica commercial video that is running wild in the e-mail webworld:

You see, Christian have nothing to fear. We just need to make sure we are not believing lies spun by someone who is driven by fear. Remember Jesus told us that the Holy Spirit in believers is greater than the demonic forces and satan, himself, in this world! (1John4:4) We need to remember that God is love and that perfect love cast out all fear. We, in Christ, have an all-powerful Heavenly Father that listens to us when we talk to Him and when we ask for Him to act according to His will....because of our faith in Jesus (as the way, the truth and the life, "no one comes to the Father except through me" John 14:6) as both our Lord and Savior!

If anyone is to is those who misquote the Bible and the intentions of Jesus who came not to bring "fair-minded words" that could be used by a politician to convince true evangelical believers and non-believers alike that they have the ability to reconcile America (and the world) by finding common beliefs that appear to appeal to the 'good of all'. (Scripture says, Our good works are but filthy rags, and that there is no one who does good...there is no one that does good no not one! Ps 14). Only God is good! And in Christ, alone, can we do good.

So do not run and hide, or pass around half truths. Take a stand on the Bible...the very inerrant Words of God. And keep open your spiritual eye...we are told to walk by faith, not by sight. Look to God to see what is happening in our country spiritually. And then ask God, what is the next right thing that you need to do...and do it! You can do no more than this. Walk in full obedience to God...and boldly with full confidence, do the next right (right according to God) thing He asks you to do.

Three most important words to believe: I am loved!

Such three simple words but so hard for a soul to utter with inner truth. By the time we are in our teens most of us had/have been through more hurts than should be allowed in a 100 year lifetime. We live in a terribly evil, fallen world. Our little families are bombarded with tv, movies, music, gaming, porn, drugs, social pressure...and that is regardless of whether you homeschool or send your child to private school. If your children go to friends homes, they go to sleep overs, they use the computer, talk on the phone, go to summer camps, go to church events...they get exposed to all kind of things we wouldn't put into their path.

And I don't know about you, but I am not a perfect parent so I have done my own sharing of hurting my dear children, even though my heart breaks for each time and I have laid beside their bed with sorrow confessing the sin.

Then comes the sin we commit ourselves that kind of tell us that we are could love someone that did this or that name it...we all have our hidden sins that gives us inner doubt of being truly lovable to to core.

God can breakthru! If we go before Him and humble ourselves and pray. He will heal our hearts and the hearts of our children.

On my date with my sweet dh, we went to a clothes store for teens...holister...I was surprised that it wasn't more expensive to be honest ($13-$24) for a shirt...a few $29...My dh mentioned that our ds 15yo had mentioned that he liked this we looked around for a few belated birthday items...3 shirts, body spray, deodorant....

After we can home from dinner, my dh took our son to the car and showed him the gift we had for really touched our son! Maybe because we listened to what he wanted to wear or maybe because it was an unexpected surprise...we don't buy gifts like this...just on a whim...we can't afford a lot of surprises this expensive.

But I would have paid double for it, for the message that it relayed to my dear oldest son....he was smiling...something that we don't get to delight in as much as I would like...and then he uttered those special words...."I AM LOVED!"

I understand what kind of inner peace and security it takes to be able utter those dear, tender words...."I AM LOVED!" The heart cry of every living soul to love and to know that you are loved!

So Praise God from whom all blessing flow.....loving is spreading in our home! And may these seeds of love continue to blossom and grow! I Am Loved!

You don't have to be Billy Graham to be used by God

As a Christian I often have a longing to “be used by God.” I am not exactly sure what that means but I think I will know it when I am being “ used by God.” So as a Christian we sometimes try to figure out what we need to do and as we attempt to make "it" work, usually “ ur" plans just never get rolling and there seems to be no Holy Spirit wind behind the sails we have put up.

As I am making toddler steps toward obedience in God after I laid myself out before Him, empty and totally dependent for life and direction. I am noticing that God puts opportunities for ministry in my presence without me planning for it.

In my private life (for a Christian where does private and public life end and begin), I have been blessed by a counselor that has been taking steps with me into spiritual generational warfare. Now I must say I tried this years ago (10 or more) in many different avenues and it just didn't work. Some of the experiences were freak-me-out way too weird and others were fake, forced, and just not right.

I am learning that God works through His power, simple prayers that speak forth His Word instead of some Holy Ghost Deliverance meeting to cast down and out all of the demons in the name of Jesus! That is not to say we never need to plan events but often our human event planning isn’t aligned with the Holy Spirit. 

Now I am not putting my creative Lord in a box or saying He has a formula, "one size fits all” way of dealing with His treasured creatures (us). He doesn’t. Matter of fact, if He did everything the same we would probably get bored with Him and we would also try to imitate or pretend we were Him, thereby not needing Him again. Oh, what a fickle bunch of children we can be!

So I venture out after 3 days from my "meltdown", two days of which I basically slept in bed, and barely woke up to eat as my dh brought me food on a try...a dim memory of sitting up to get the bare minimum nourishment to keep living. Emotional meltdowns can be very exhausting....and so can totally surrendering to is probably why most of us don't find time to do it...we are just to busy....

Well, I went to a Generation Joshua meeting. This group has been set up by Home School Legal defense to have local clubs of 11-19 yo youths that gather in the rather formal meeting of "robert's style"...putting forth business, seconding and discussing which leads to "all members is favor of the motion say, Yes (I think it was yes instead a yeah and

Anyway here I am with my date book, my newly printed out 40 page Generation Joshua club book, and 5 copies of my recent spiritual prayers -I've listed- in a nice little stack before me. We break our little meeting for a speaker to address our youth. This incredible godly man, Monty Langford, is running for a congressional seat but was amazes me is that all he talks about is how he came to God, allowed God to direct His life and the passion He has to bring a moral compass to Washington (and see many there saved!) He could have been trying out for local pastor.

One of the first things he shared was telling our youth (and my young boys) that the only thing they needed to do was to lay out before the Lord and find out what He wanted them to do with their life. He told them that God knitted them together in my womb and created them for a specific purpose...needless to say what He had to say was powerful and my heart wanted to leap out of my chest in agreement!

As he started to close, he asked that we would pray for him and remember the part of the Lord's prayer for him..."lead me not into temptation".

My thoughts started to click...temptation...spiritual warfare...and I look down and see the copies I had of the spiritual warfare prayers...oh, my...

Then our sweet adult sponsor suggests that we gather around this godly man and pray for him as we placed our hands on him.....we all gathered around and I brought my copy of the prayers I had brought...there was a moment of silence and I felt totally empowered by God....just kind of knowing co-incidences like this just don't happen with God...He plans them! I started to boldly pray out the prayers for Monty Langford..and his family and for us. Several wonderful saints followed with prayers for Monty and our nation. It was one of those special divine appointments with God...that are never planned by men but by God.

After we were hanging around and chatting one of the ladies began to speak with me and she shared that she had been going through a difficult time...divorce...abuse...court proceedings...9 children...
she could have been speaking about some of the details in my childhood life...again...I am excited by the Lord...He brought me here for this also....I friend needed...someone who could understand...someone to provide resources for support...after sharing e-mails and phone numbers...I know God is going to do something there ....I will just be available when needed....another incident that could not have just been a coincident. God planned...a divine moment...a divine meeting.

I don't know beyond this hour what is going to take place but I do know who I am going to be with (my Lord) and that I am going to be available to Him as I walk through the events of my day.

There is more here to share but I don't have His freedom to put it to a post at this time.

So are you walking a walk with Jesus with open Spiritual eyes....sensitive ears...being obedient to His desire for you at this moment...don't forget...God is showing me...the only thing I need to ask is "what is the next right thing" for me to do. Wow, that doesn't take a lot of planning on my part...I may not please a lot of people but if I just do the next right thing he wants me to do...I will please Him.

Friday, August 22, 2008

See How Easy You Can Live a Life Worth Living

If you knew the number of your would you live the last days out...what would you do...many churches are having their whole congregations consider this...well, I just answered an online question by someone blogging in the world..a non-Christian..that probably wont understand. I answered how I would live my last 37 days. Maybe I should have been more specific....making a 'bucket list'...but my days and what I do really are not mine to determine...All I can do is "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain" this is what I would do with 37 days about you?

My last 37 days:
Anyone can exist, but it takes a choice to live life. I choose to live life to its fullest! To live each and every second in the presence of my Lord. To be surrounded by His perfect Peace that surpasses all understanding. To fully know that I am loved and accepted by the One that really counts. To feel His smile radiate around me and to move in unison to every step perfectly synchronized to His..breath by breath, thought by thought, act by act. To be one with the lover of my soul, and have the abundant life of being able to love others unconditionally, passionately, sacrificially. Living in complete obedience to Him, bringing Him glory and seeing with spiritual eyes instead of physical ones. To be who I was created to be, fully abandoned from the lies and pressures, and mirrored screens that shadow the clear view of Him and reality. Listen. Love. Live. Laugh. Leap. 37 days of passionate, unrestrained, freedom...Sheer be shared with my children, husband, friends and anyone He puts in my path. 37 days of Living!

So what about you? Do you know what you would do if you had only a small number of days to live? Take time to stop and think about it now. Prioritize your life so that each day can be valuable to you. Evaluating your life today will help you live a life without regrets. You have a free will. You have an ability to choice if you will live without regrets. God can support you, show you the way, fill you with the power of the Holy Spirit, but you have to make the choice. God can't do that...He can't live your life for you. So, everyday wont be perfect, but you can choose to live a life worth Living!

Spiritual Warfare Prayers That Can Deliver You From Evil


Lord, I call to you in the name of Jesus, my High Priest. I submit to your will. I invite your Spirit to search and convict me of any sin (confess any current sin before continuing). Thank you for your forgiveness and cleansing -- I put on your breastplate of righteousness. I ask you, on my behalf, to expose all the schemes of Satan ever devised against me, through any source, at any time. I ask you, Holy Spirit, to bring into the light powers of darkness that may oppress me.

I forsake all sin in my blood ancestry that may have opened doors to darkness _______________ ( specify names of relatives and sins, if relevant). I close these doors as they relate to me and my children ______________ (name your children). I forsake all personal sin that has given ground to the enemy. I reclaim that ground now. Lord Jesus, I apply the power of your name and blood to remove from me all consequences of evil oppression. In your authority, I break the binding effect of all curses (be specific if possible, e.g. witchcraft, hatred), spells, charms, hexes, psychic powers, works of witchcraft. . . anything of evil ever put upon me from any source. I ask you, Lord Jesus, to bind together all enemy spirits that may oppress me, and remove them from my life. Deliver me from all evil.

*Spoken with sincerity and authority, this prayer will be effective in loosing the grip of satanic forces present. If you are praying on behalf of another person, you may also give direct command to the enemy to take flight:


I expose all enemies of Jesus Christ operative against _______________. I sever you from Satan and any power above you. I remove your right to afflict ___________, and proclaim your judgment under the hand of God. I weaken you with the blood of Calvary. In the authority of Christ, I bind all spirits present together. I command you to go where Jesus Christ tells you to go, by the voice of his Spirit, and by the voice of his servant now speaking.

Some spirits only come out through the sacrifice of prayer and fasting.


The devil attacks and exploits unconfessed sin. If sin occurs and remains unresolved, especially sin related to idolatry or witchcraft, the enemy has a legal right to accuse and oppress. Combining the biblical principle of the visitation of the sins of the fathers on the children with clinical data from deliverance sessions, we observe a connection between genealogical sin and oppression in current generations. Satan's goal is to perpetuate his strongholds.

Pray according to the instructions of Leviticus 26:40, 42. Confess your own sins, and those of your fathers, especially sins related to rebellion against God and hatred of others. When the Israelites did this in the spirit of humility,there was a restoration of divine favor.
Pray with authority in Jesus' name to separate your life (and your children's lives) from the sins of former generations. Here is an example of how you might pray:

Heavenly Father, I confess the wickedness of my earthly father, his sexual sin and violent anger. I forsake and separate myself and my children from those sins. God, be gracious to me. In Jesus' authority, I now apply the power of his blood to break all curses and consequences of evil that may have entered my family.

After this prayer, it is wise to utter a verbal command to rid your life of any familial spirits. Tell the enemy he has no legal claim to continue working in your family.

Hope this helps you and your family! I will be updating the blog on what God is doing....I did not write these prayers credit goes to Thomas White from The Believer's Guide to Spiritual Warfare.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Do you make the mistakes of overlooking God

What do we really need in life? God. When will I ever learn. It seems such a simple thing. I only need God! How complicated we make life! If I could ever learn to live just needing God, trusting Him to lead, to provide, to help me see.

I wouldn't be so stressed...such a mixed up mess...

God - His grace is sufficient for all of my needs! When I am weak, He is strong. When I die to myself, He lives through me! God!

My thoughts taken captive to Christ Jesus. My will surrendered to His please and desire. My emotions in line with His and following my mind...not leading it! To live by faith and not by sight...We should walk by ...just believe God...believe Him! What He says is is a solid rock I can build my life is a comfort for my is a promise that will come to pass...He is faithful, loving, gentle, understanding...He knows everything...even the number of hairs on my head! With Him is my only full acceptance, love and security.

He will never hurt me. I am safe with His presence and in His will. He provides for everything I need..and I have way more stuff than a person could ever need. Stuff doesn't make a soul may bring pleasure for a season but never contentment. Satisfaction, quiet peace, resounding joy is only found in Jesus! Why do we keep doing the Jesus + _______(what ever)? Why do we keep seeking for more ....instead of just seeking for more of Him?

What is the next right thing to do? What a simple question, but it is all I need to know to function moment by moment dependent to, sleep, relationships, touch, security, ....did I day food....(sorry about that light turn)....I think that is called inner joy! It is what He brings when we confess that He is all we need. Well, Him ..and my stomach is speaking and not my heart.

I think you get the point - simple things - all found in God and through God...walking with Him and believing Him....letting Him provide...a God pleaser..If God is with me who/what can be against me! Dear Lord, thank you for humor...I think it is a close relative to joy!

We seem to want to take life so seriously....when all we need is to be serious about knowing and loving Him...all else will that is something I can walk in baby steps toward...even a baby can focus on one thing...can walk in one direction...can hear one voice...can obey one I go...standing up my spiritual wobbly take the first step toward Him...papa, Father God, you are all I lets go get some lunch together!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Who Else Wants to Recover from Mental Meltdowns?

Wow! Emotions can be all spectrum of intensity. I just had a nuclear mental meltdown. I felt crushingly that I was a total inept...incompetent human, much less a useless mom and failure friend, and disconnected wife...need I go get a glimpse into the picture of the despair of my soul travelled through.

But what was amazing, is that through it all, God was my lifeline. He never let go! Not that 'God holding onto me' should be amazing in itself because it is His very character...."I will never leave thee or forsake thee"! But it is always so much deeper and heartfelt when you experience flying through the force of a twister and still being able to hear His promises, acceptance and love.

No matter how low I went, nothing could separate me from His is one thing to read this in the Bible and to agree with Him that it is true because He said is in His Word........but it is a totally different experience to see and feel Him being ever present in the darkest black hole of despair....when all else was gone...when nothing else was obtainable...when all doors slammed shut and bolted.....He remained a constant...the solid Rock....the safe haven....

I heard him say:

You please me! I love you! I will always be there with
you! You are doing what I have asked you to do! I accept you as you
are. You can talk with me. I can hear you. I am here for
you! You are not alone. You will always have me!

And now I can say:

Oh, Praise God, Praise God, Praise God, Praise God. He loves me! He cares about me! He will never hurt me! He is my help in time of need! He will always be there! He is my protector, my shield, my comfort, my rescuer, my redeemer! I loved Him and He will never let me go! Nothing can separate me from the love of God...not even my own failures. Now isn't that something to rejoice about!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Little known facts about Darwinism and Medicine

I am a nurse - and a mere LPN - at that so I don't even consider myself a medical professional in knowledge base or experience. But one thing I do specialize in life is attempting to be a follower of Jesus Christ.

Everything I read or see or hear or consider, I try to filter it through God's view....and then attempt to line my view up to His standard.So, Darwin and his teachings and his followers are simply ignorant to truth, because he doesn't take into fact the most important influence in life or death...God Himself. A world without God would be non-existent...since God Himself is the only self-existent one.

So all the babble about the survival of the fittest is mute! Every single part of our body was Created by the Creator that was much more knowledgeable and foreknowing than anyone who will ever ponder these ideas.I love science (and medicine of course included) because you can't get far into a discussion about any topic without getting to the fact that all creation (including humans) are vastly more complicated and mindboggling to understand. Often it is easier to delight and marvel at our intricate design than to pretend to understand how it works.

Medicine is absolutely anti-darwinism....and anyone with a thinking true scientific mind would agree.

The real problem is that somewhere, someone stepped over the line of reasonable medical care and attempted to be a god...they attempted to control the point of a person's life and/or death. And this was all possible because we live in a welfare state mentality....medical research experiments...which are often what life saving attempts against all logic, known medical experience and knowledge, are being allowed, even forced to some degree. The only difference is research if funded. Hypothesis are carefully prepared. And careful records, including fiscal responsibility are taken.

When the taxpayer or private insurance (thus all paying insurance) or hospital organizations have to pay for these life saving feats of chance, there is no accountability...and no carefully research, conclusions and repeatable outcomes.

Doctors should be in the position to help families understand that there is no known medical course to take to extend life. At this point God should be given the opportunity to intervene, with one of His incredible miracles or His loving mercy to bring the precious soul home to Him.Where we go so wrong that we leave God and His infinite wisdom and power out of so many situations that are really only His call to make in the first place.

(These were thoughts after reading old post on M.D.O.D. blog - a medical ER DR blog of sarcasm)

Here's a way to Help Your Teen Smile Deep Inside!

What makes you smile deep inside? Not a passing smile, but something that really connects and touches your soul. Something that makes you feel totally alive.

My ds, 13 yo, better known on my blog as teddybear was vomiting sick last night (no that doesn't make me smile, read on!)....

I am driving back from taking my oldest, GreatKnight (15yo) to a super high school Bible study...the ride home talk was not a keeper...we are in this intense discussion about why he thinks anger is the best motivator....he quotes some very 'old person who once said' (don't you love it when these famous old quotables don't have names...but it sound authentic and credible)...well this very old famous person is quoted by my GreatKnight to have said..."anger is greater than courage...and more useful in an honorable one-on-one hand to hand combat fight." (Just go with me...I have a son that loves history - especially medieval warfare.) We are in this real serious debate...bleep, bleep, cell phone ring....

I can't get to it....(It's in the back seat...nice and out of the way with my stack of books)....bleep, bleep, is near 10 has to be important....finally my GreatKnight reaches back (at my plead for help) and hands me the phone...

home calls...dd (my 'cupcake') is telling me that Teddybear is at this moment vomiting and I need to get home....I am only two streets I let her know I will be there in a minute...

GreatKnight goes, "Isn't dad at home?" Like that is a relevant question, when you have a vomiting child....everyone knows a sick child needs a mommy's touch...moms just have that special way of holding drinks with a straw and wiping regurgitated chunks off of lips...she's comforting like chicken noodle soup or a home baked pie...not like anyone feels like eating one now because I have just been grossing you out about vomit....

I drive slowly...sometimes the present is more pressing than the next explain this anger philosophy again...I look to my GreatKnight...He proceeds to reveal all the great wisdom of an all-knowing young teen...not like I haven't heard this philosophies of life before...

But it crosses my mind....what does God say about does GreatKnight's view of anger stack up to God's view of it...I am not the standard barrier and all-knowing...but the great I AM is! So here I go..."What would God have to say about this anger philosophy...." No surprise, that question is not well received...I'm sure he is still wondering how did we get back to talking about Him again...

Well, I've done all I I just suggest..."why don't I call your Bible teacher from tonight and ask him for his view on your life philosophy?" Sheer terror grips him....Noooooo!, not worldevangelist RL, I don't want him knowing my deep inner thoughts...what will he think of me...GreatKnight knows...because RL will tell him God's's not that GreatKnight doesn't already know God's view...he just doesn't want to be exposed to RL for who he currently is and what he holds as his own personal warped worldview...he, like most of us, is a pretender at church and with church people...making the right church comments and morphing into a church kid...we all know how to make this transformation as our car rolls into the church parking lot...there should be a make-up department in some backlot of the church, we all play our casted rolls so well.

My dear GreatKnight gets out of the car that is now pleasantly parked in the driveway of our safe home where we can practice being real people. He leaves quickly and heads off to his bed. (There is a good ending to this story but it will have to wait til the next post)...this one is about the smiling deep inside...moments.

I am usher into the bathroom like the awaited traveling doctor from Little House on the Prairie Days....there is a big sigh of relief...the professional caretaker is here...Cupcake and MyBeloved can leave their posts.

Mommy flies into full swing...get the dirty stuff in the washer...get clean cloths...get the sick teddybear comfortable in his own bed...get the trash can close by...water with a straw...banana popscicles...gingerale...thermometer...soft pillow...all the comforts of tender loving care...and don't forget the mommy words of compassion applied with soft, gentle touches to the skin.

Every 15 minutes or so Teddybear calls out and mommy flies into the air to meet his every need...he needs 13yo teddybear still wants me...I can't go sleep in my bed...not when he calls out for I get my pillow and lay at the bottom of his bed providing the soft words, tender touches and the sips of ginger ale...into the night.

At 5 am, we wake. This is the deep smile part. We have one of those heart to heart talks. You know the ones that are about the all important "this or that"...but that comes with total connection, playful enjoyment, honest answers...

"Do I really embarrass you?"...."Only in public." "How?" "Like when we are in a store and you announce to everyone around -hey, go get me some toothpaste or we can't get that today." "Yeah, I really do that..." "Dad, leans over and whispers but you make a it public knowledge." Hmmm

Then the fun starts...everything I do he repeats...Hmmmm, head tilt, head tilt, kick legs, kick legs, mumble, mumble, kiss to the cheek....FREAK OUT! And we laugh, and I tickle, and we laugh again...definitely not something a 13yo teddybear can copy...the old mommy will get them every time! "I love you so much!" And it really does feel all warm deep within my soul...and teddybear feels it too! Priceless!

So what makes you smile deep inside....watching a baby discover their hands or feet for the first time ....being handed the first flowers of spring...seeing your baby ride his bike solo after you let go...watching your child swing....standing in the rain....seeing a dog chase a butterfly...

So many special moments make up our days...we just need to be looking to see them...let me know ....what do you see....

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The Secrets of Obama

I spent several hours last night following all kinds of leads, threads, sites, and Google searches on Obama. I will come right out and open from the start....I never liked Obama...something just didn't seem right...too polished...rose up from experience...something more powerful had to be behind him.

Now I am seeing that he, himself, may be trying to discover who he really is and for this I have great sorry and compassion. He has been told and taught so many lies. A lot of what he knew and believed about being uncovered as not true...I am not saying that it is impossible that he knew the truth...but I am saying it is more than likely that what he has stated about his family and his life is really the stories that he was told. He that is just was just "stories"...fabrications...lies...whose family doesn't have secrets.

My husband's great aunt went to the grave without her husband ever knowing that she had lied to him when the dated and she really was older then him. His mom went to the grave never telling her son that his grandpa and great grandpa were moonshiners! I am sure there are tons of lies in my family history. Few of us question what we are told or ever dig up the original documentation of our family and our birth to find out its validity.

Barack may be in the same situation. It is more than likely that when he opted as an older teen to stay in USA, thinking it would give him a better opportunity, instead of following his mom and sister....someone came to "his aid". Helped him get to where he is today. Reinforced lies. Encouraged him to believe he was the one and only answer to change in America in this generation. Without a strong moral compass and diligent Bible study, he trusted the lies spouted out by those he respected, trusted, surrounded himself with, listened to.... His worldview was shaped by others...and it was not a Biblical based God worldview. So through his worldview filter, he interrupts and believes lies to be true. The Bible is the only true standard and plumb line to measure any views, facts, and thoughts against for accuracy, because it is the only Written Word of God! It is Truth! It is the Standard! Whether we like it or believe it, God is still God and the Creator, and the standard barrier and Sovereign. He, alone, has the solutions to our troubles, our hurts and pain, our losses....Everything we will every need is beyond our ability to produce it ourselves...the bottom line is we all need God and what only He can give us!

So back to Barrack, who may be Barry, ....but what really matters is who is behind all of this deception and what is the purpose?

There are wonderful investigative and highly talented truth seekers trying to quickly uncover the facts...behind Barracks reality. A great source is This site is very credible and not mudslinging junk site, it is also breaking news current (August 2008). If you really care about America and what is going on in current events both on earth and the heavenlies, you owe it to yourself to stay informed. You can't believe what you hear or need to look at everything with a questioning mind. What is the writer's purpose? What is the writer's worldview? What does the writer have to gain from this? Otherwise, we all must learn to listen and read slowly with our mind and spirit fully engaged! The truth will surface.

My appreciation goes to all the wonderful fact seekers that are working tirelessly to find and uncover the facts. I have viewed the forgery analysis of techdude (he was threatened with a blood covered dead animal left on his porch and tires slashed) to try to scare him into stopping his investigation. There is a great fight, a powerful force, trying to hide something. We all owe it to our country to find out who is behind these threats and what and why are they hiding Barack's past. What is it that the American people are not to know? This is not a republican or democratic problem. This is an American disaster that is equally important to every citizen of USA. Our country is at stake. Some one is trying to get into power, under a false pretense. Someone is trying to sneak into the most secure position of influence and information in the world. If Barack really does love this country, he, himself, should be calling for an all out investigation. We do not want a person running for president that is not matter what affects the integrity of our presidential race, our voting rights, our system of law and justice.

Finally, join with me in prayer! We do not need to take cover, to put our heads in the sand. We have nothing to fear! God is still on the throne. He is an always will be the Lord of Host...the King of Kings. He is Sovereign. We need to call out to Him and look to Him to reveal the lies and to protect our Nation. We need to stand firm in our faith! If God is for us, who can be against us! He has already overcome this world, the victory is His! Rise up! Take your rightly position. Stand on truth, and be watchful to not to deceived.

God will lead and protect those who follow Him.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Discovering Deep Love

I love my dear and tender hearted husband! Thank you God for giving me a man who has a heart after Your heart. You blessed me so much 24 year+ ago. You know what you were doing even when I did not. You are so good to me. My husband completes me. Together we are one. Bless him, as you bless me. Protect him. Guide Him. I love You, Father God, and glimpse Your love for me through my earthly beloved, my sweet husband.

What is Calling Your Name?

We are all drawn...toward who or what is calling our name? Even if we are unaware, there is a battle taking place for our present thought and action.

I love this old ad! Children are full of hope; we all have a purpose.

Pick me...over need me...30% off....only 2 left....lowest price
of the season....feel strong...want sex appeal....improve your health...think
green.....take the risk....clearance....last of its
kind....quality....essential...everyone needs one....just do
free...follow your tolerant....find your independence....12 months
no not only one, but in the next ten minutes we will
double your order....the professionals all shipping ....never
again....90% off today will last a of a kind...meets any one's
budget...Never's fail
plan....anyone can do it....enhance your leaving.....we listen and understand
your needs...lifetime warranty....from ordinary to extraordinary...looks
great...can be assembled with no tools....perfect...installed easily....half the
price of....attractive...treat yourself...indulge...

We all have an angle...a voice that gets our emotional attention...what is calling your name?

For me it is a red tags...I walk the aisle for hours scanning the target red-orange tag...searching the end caps....drawn to the 50-75% off signs...CLEARANCE....I can't resist....I must come...I must see...I must may be a great deal...I might need it...I may never find it at the price again...It could work...I could use it....Save it for a gift...You always need one...If I wait I will have to pay full's such a could go in that empty space...I've been looking for just that...she would like could help him...that would work....

before I know it I have $50 -$100 worth of stuff, I didn't come to buy, don't need right at that moment, and wasn't looking can that happen....

my patterns....they are known and common among the selfish, greedy, lustful, pleasure seeking sinful heart....sin...that ancient word...repulsive... avoided...hidden... unrepented...gripping... clutches of my soul....

Oh, God! Let me hear you! May I be tuned to your frequency...your still and quiet your presence....seeking inheritence...incorruption...without a blemish...perfect... indestructible...all-powerful...all-knowing....eternal....Let me follow You!!!! I want to answer Your call! You, and You alone! There I will find rest, joy, peace, love, fulfillment, grace, forgiveness, self-control. May I die to my flesh and live to YOU!

Who is Your God?

What do you think about most?

What captures you desire? What draws you to spend your time? What occupies your time?

Do you frequently wish you were with a person/thing or doing an activity throughout the day?

What is your dream...what is the end result of it...who does it bring glory (value/worth) to?

I may be worshipping my blog/ twitter/ e-mail/ Internet time. The computer is so many places to much to many people to talk with/ to connect with...

It is interesting...I started a blog to help me work through my inner express myself to help me function have a place to get thoughts and ideas out of my be able to sleep more soundly...have more peace...feel more joy, share more love, be myself....

But am I worshipping at the alter of my you catch yourself thinking...'I need to update twitter/blog...I need to write a note...that would be good to post...wonder what she/he posted...Google this/ Google hour passes...two hours pass...3...4...often early in the morning and late into the night....

Is my mind not suppose to be consumed with God? Is He not who I should be sharing my every thought/ concern with? Is He not my strong tower to run to? Is He not my one and God....

Sure, I talk about Him all the time, I share my thoughts and feeling toward Him...but am I spending more time doing that then talking to Him ...

What about my children that sit at my feet or wait on a chair or lay by my computer table....waiting for tuck them join them..."One more minute" "I am almost done" "I just need to do one more thing" ......

Who is getting my devotion? My time...My thoughts...My love...

Our one and only God is a jealous God. And He will not put up with being second to a false god...He will get my attention...but do I really want to endure what it takes to get my full attention...when He should already have it?

Practicing the presence of God...I've tried to do it...I loved the book by Bro. Lawrence..The Presence of God...Can I learn to live in the sweet constant live and do only his be filled, compelled and overflowing with His unfathomable love and my cup running over...

Or am I running on empty...borrowed time...dry...shallow...weak...wandering...scattered...darting here...dashing does it stop?

When I repent! When I agree with God, that He no longer is my "Big #1", He is second fiddle..maybe third..or fourth! Am I flirting with the things of the unfaithful unthoughtful My God!

Oh, God...please forgive me...I am sorry for the things I have let take your place...I am sorry for not listening...for missing your quiet whisper...for being to busy..too preoccupied. I am sorry for chasing after others...for looking for healing, love, joy, peace in all the wrong places. You are my all in all. I need mo more...You are all I ever one and only, the lover of my soul,

Forgive me papa...I want to come home...I want to sit on your feel your warm embrace, to rest my shoulder on your head, to feel you stroke my hair, to hear you sweet whispers of admiration and love...Your cup runneth over into me, I am covered by your flood, the warmth of your love, your deep concern, your all knowing look, your sweet approving smile...what a deep love...You really do love me..You know me and still I am the apple of your eye! Your treasure! How could I ever want a cheap trinket compared to your love?

Forgive me, wash away my tear, hold me near, let me feel your heartbeat, let me know you are here...draw my to You and never let me go...bind me with a tether...and never let me go...

love, your daughter

Thursday, August 14, 2008

5 Ways to Have a Successful Homeschool Mom's Support Group

1) Meetings are probably best on Friday nights....getting there at 6-6:30 allows time for chit-chat until meeting time.

(Also a prepared handout regarding dates, needs, upcoming events, introducing new families, etc. Would save a lot of precious meeting time or having Melissa go ahead and set up a yahoo group, like she suggested....we could get all the planning done during the month online.)

2) Focus meetings on the Lord. He is our common bond.

He is our reason for why we have committing ourselves to the different lifestyle. . Homeschool families come in all different shapes and sizes....that is just the way God likes to do it...he is not a cookie-cutter God. He likes to make creations that are unique....having His own little fingerprint on our body/soul/spirit....that make us special to Him. In the same way, all families are different....led by the Holy Spirit to have certain patterns of living that are good for each family.

We all know one curriculum is not necessarily better than the just may be better suited for our needs, our wants, and more structured the way we function and naturally think. It just fits! And most parents, know when a method of teaching fits them or a certain child. It works. I love this about causes us to need Him for direction because we can't just read about "how to do it" in a book and expect it to be perfect for every person, family and incident. (The Holy Spirit fell on believers in different ways. Jesus performed healings in different ways. Jesus taught in different ways. Apostles were released from prison in different ways, etc.)

3) Alternate the person leading the meeting around a ladies that feel led by the Lord to bring a fresh Word from God to the moms.

This, for one, takes the burden of preparing off of one person. We are all so busy...running in a million mind-boggling directions....we need to share this burden and thereby, make it a joy! Most moms could share a Word from God...once or twice a year...but every month...we never know what the next day may bring. This message really needs to be God and His Word focused. Something from a loved book, devotional, email pass note, or a Bible message. No matter what it needs to include at least one Bible verse....this is the food for our souls that are usually neglected because we are giving so much to our children, family, church and friends....

And secondly, if a mom makes the effort to get out of the house and get alone with friends and fellow comrades in this homeschool needs to be a deep value to her needs to be uplifting, exhorting, to feed, direct and encourage her soul.

4) Prayer - we can't leave out prayer.

Each and everyone of us and our families are on the enemies hit list...have you ever wondered why everything breaks in our home/garage/driveway/yard...and why our families disapportionately have so many diseases/syndrome/pains/problems. We should not be surprised that we are suffering setbacks, and an extra dose of attacks. We are deeply convicted to follow our Lord, committed to live out our faith, day by day (second by second...and full of grace). We NEED prayer cover. We are an army of the Lord...raising up arrows to be placed in His quiver to be shot out where ever He pleases. Our families NEED prayer!

We don't need to discuss prayer request. We just need to converse with God. We will hear the request as we pray to Him and others can join in and pray in our behalf...or laying on hands, when needed. The enemy loves nothing more than to see our time of pray be a time of talk....and we are real good at talking. (smile!)

5) Social Butterfly Time - allow ladies that want extended fellowship on these Friday nites to plan a movie, hang out late at a restaurant, or whatever they care to plan......sometimes what we need most is to be not be wife, or mom, or daughter...but just "ME". We can really get lost in our heavy load of responsibilities....having time to laugh, talk, cry, and be silly rejuvenates moms!

I didn't get much sleep last night (2 hours) and I wrote this give me grace for errors, or bad suggestion/comments.

Monday, August 11, 2008

A Quick Way to Solve Church Conflict - Love the Church

Well, God is always surprising me and teaching me something new....its not new to Him but new to me...He spoke to me tonight through several friends...the big message I heard that I have not been doing is that I need to .....

love the Church, His Church, my local church, ......because he died for it! Yes, he died for you and me...but he also died for the collective church....the universal church, and the local church....

The local church is kinda like your is probably the hardest bunch of folks to is pretty easy to love the universal church...the big church concept, but when the church has flesh and blood, personality and quirks, opinions and attitudes, cliques and committees, rules and is a little different...because especially in big churches (mine is about 3000) you really don't know people that see them, maybe talk every few weeks, learn a little fact here or there, but really don't know what is truly going on in their life.

So I am going to ponder this....try to understand...try to see it differently...try to learn how God wants me to love the church.

I will let you know how I do..

Good far!

Well, after such an emotional roller coaster it is nice to sense a little normalcy....did most school..will finish in afternoon.

Went to Hastings to get Little House book series...brought some books to sell to help out with price....found colored illustration set...about $10 more than b&W...but I just think the children will enjoy the colors....

Cupcake (dd) is already painting the cat bowl craft kit I just brought home from Target clearance...I just had to nab it at $2....

Teddybear (middle ds) loving his headphones I got for him to listen to music on his computer while practicing drums....he is getting everyone to come listen to the quality.....broke down and bought him the yucky pants that look like someone attached them to their feet and walked down a rocky mountain.....I hate spending money on something so used looking....but it was his third time he tried to get me to buy them....and this time he added two that I like....a compromise I guess we could say.

Talked with my db TechnoBear....I love him so much...enjoy listening and speaking to him...he is so real.

Catch you later.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

God is Good!

No matter what the hurt, no matter what the pain, through it all ......God is Good! Dear God, help me to see reality the way you see me to understand what you are doing and what you want me to do....

There is one thing I do know....You love me.....You made me....You are listening....You care...You see me not as I am today but as I am fully regenerated....You love me just as I am today...You know me...You cry when I cry, You laugh when I laugh...You are always with me, You will never leave me, I am never alone....Since You are for me, what does it matter who is against me....

Oh, God! Help me keep my focus on You. Guard my mind, my mouth, my heart. Help me feel what you feel, see what you see, hear what you hear.

Tell me what to do, order my steps, guide my thoughts, give me my words....less of me and more of you....

Thank you for being patient with me, for being able to see the gem in the rough,

You know my value, You know my worth...You set my value, You set my worth....keep me from slipping, from getting so hurt.

I will listen, I will move slowly, I will wait on You. And no matter what, no matter what others say or think, I will obey. You will have the victory, all the glory, honor and praise!

Thank you, God! Your mercies are new every morning!

Broken One

Went to recital, got there a few minutes bf it started..dh left me a seat, we were right behind dd, hugged her and told her I was sorry....she said it was ok....she sang 4th....did a great job...friend said she sounded so spunky...she has a cute personality and beautiful smile.

I didn't have to find a fake was already dark when I friend asked what's wrong ...didn't answer just walked on to my seat...

Several songs touched my made me cry...Broken One...never heard it before...I will have to get the lyrics and post was about a young girl that loved the broken dolls because they needed her to be mended....on to teens and she loved the broken people..a girl in need at a shelter....talked about how there would be less broken ones if we just loved the broken ones just like Jesus does...

my memory doesn't give it justice, but it touched my heart deeply...I excused myself and got in the car and cried all the way home...

I wish my children had a better that could be all that they that was not so damaged...needy...messed up. I often wonder why did God allow me to have children, not that I don't love mine with everything in me....but I also hurt them...don't think I will ever be the mother I wanted to be...not even close....

they are growing up so fast..oldest ds has only 4 more years...youngest has only 8....I don't have time to heal before they are gone....I so wish they could have had a loving, stable, happy that could have been everything they needed and more....

they love me and accept me for all my shortcomings....but they know I didn't do a lot of things right and I still don't/won't.....

I wish I wasn't a broken one...but it is not like a person that is shattered in pieces can put herself back together again...Jesus is healing me, and He loves me passionately, He just has chosen slower methods than to my liking...but (chuckle) He's God...He must know what is best. Wish like humpty-dumpty I could just be put all back together again....but my egg white seems to keep leaking through some cracks and I get all sticky, slippy, hard to handle....hard to deal with...hard to be with...until someone loves me enough to help me get wipe off the love the broken one....

It is kinda funny...Jesus could heal me with a word...with a whisper...with a blow....but it is like He is wanting to do it through the hands of others...He just wont let me go away ...alone with Him and get a quick fix....He wants people involved...and that is where it gets complicated....its hard to find people that are willing to get dirty...that don't mind wiping away the mess and gently loving the cracks away....

Another lady sang about God healing hurts but leaving a scar...the scar was to remind her of his love and how far He had taken her....the rumbles of her life was the altar that she was able to praise Him was deeply felt and beautiful...well...maybe I should check in on the family...

how will they ever understand me...a broken one

Cross by Road

two days ago, I saw emergency vehicles around a sharp curve close to my home...looked like someone was on the grass being helped by medics....dh came home later and said he saw accident with a twisted white bike on the side of the road....

yesterday, I saw a woooden cross by the road...someone had died. it hit me...I saw the scene...someone died there..

Coming home today, small group around cross by the road, young girl sitting next to cross...I pull over...walk back to cross by the road...."I saw there was an accident here two days ago and came back last night and saw cross by the road...." crying..."do you know who died?" nods...."was it a young person?"

It was a father of a freshman and senior at the High person says..."he was like our dad"...several point to girl that was sitting by the cross...

"Was it your dad?" nod....I hug her knowingly....and just say...."I am so sorry...I'm so sorry." She thanked me.

When I turn to leave, man there tells me to "be careful." Probably never see them again....just like an angel crossing their path.

Why did he have to die...even other children thought of him as a is so sad.

Do I matter?

where do I begin? I should be at my daughter's side....I should be with is her first vocal recital in years...she is such a good girl...things are changing though...she is not my little girl....she does value what I say....well, not unless I say something that could hurt....I know she is just a little girl, that she is a young child almost a young lady...a big age of 11.....I guess her daddy took her to the recital....I had a pretty hard day at has been very hard don't much fit...I am not the "church" type....I have problems...and worse than that I let people know. I am disqualified...not able to serve...not able not allowed...asked not to...

people like me don't get to do things....we don't get to speak...we don't get to write...we don't get to teach....we don't get to lead...oh, I can at my on little space, but with other people...oh, I might do something wrong....I might offend someone...I might say something that others would never dare in their life say or act like...I might be blunt...I might be bold....I might call black black and white white....don't I know that people don't say things like that ....that they see it too but they have learned to be social be be pretend they really don't see anything ...they have learned to be kind, nice, proper....

so I am not with my dd....she starts to sing in 1 hour...maybe I will get there? maybe I will show my face? but if I do, will it be hard for her...will she have a hard time singing if she sees me or will it be harder for her if I am not that...that is usually the case....but I remember I am not usual...

what happen, where did it all crumble....I was so happy, chirpery....dh said I said my whole days alot of words in the car before we got to ds's wished I'd be quiet also...I don't remember what I said...I was just a happily chattering about this and that....

Drop dd off for her young church....go to big church...Pastor talks about being released from selfishness...the church has bars placed where we go in...guys dress in dark black pretended to be jail wardens....all friendly and in fun...pastor has a great sermon as usual....alter elderly lady dressed so petitely in a suit comes shyly forward....young youth leaders wife listens, holds her dearly, prays with her....all in the seat in front of me...

time to go to ss, oldest ds is now in HS ...his group doesn't meet until the next hour....hmmm...maybe he could serve...wonder if anyone needs help...."I want to hang out with my friends"...."I want to go to youth with dad"..."your dad is is his first day to teach 8th grade boys"....

let's see....sound guy, do you need any help next, we are full.....dragging ds behind me...children's helper, do ya'll need any help this hour maybe an assistant at a table...need to ask children's pastor....children's pastor, do you need any help this hour my ds now in HS has nothing to do this hour can he serve...we do big group church, he can sit with the children if he wants...I don't want to I want to hang out with my friends and go to the youth....fine, do what ever you want...go where ever you want...i am going to ss class...

I don't really want to go to class...I just don't feel like I fit in....I am just not comfortable...can't share all...comment, comment, comment, laugh, laugh, laugh, share, share, share, show, show, show, update, update, update, ....lesson begins...we are going to be studying Esther next 6 weeks or so...we haven't decided to do a book yet or to just use the Bible...if we do a book you wont need can get it but you wont need it....teach, teach, teach, share about life, share about life, share about life, read a word or two...(hey, I don't think we read any Esther)....well, we talked about her...and obedience...maybe it was just the intro....very touching teacher sharing about her life and time she gave her baby daughter to God as she was near death with RSV....30 minutes later baby is all better....they go home the next day...her d is now in HS...time flies...may teary eyes after story...why did it not make me so sad? class is over...

In hallway, dh is talking away with youth parents, other teacher, etc. Honestly, I am so happy he is doing is so good for him...

waiting, waiting, waiting, hug one or two...see a old friend...good to see this couple they have been gone for years...hug them and tell them I am glad to see them...they look great.

dh is still talking...ds in ms is hanging with his friends...they are going to do a christian rap video parody....he doesn't want to be in it just wants to watch...asst youth leader takes group outside to son's invited to go along....

dh leaves hallway and goes back into youth area...I see df that left SS class...hug her...reminded I forgot to do something...I'll e-mail someone about it...she slips in another class...I liked her so much...she is now in another class...wish I could try that class but it is so full...probably wouldn't fit....looks way to big...still waiting on dh...pass the class door of the ladies class looking in door...looking but not really seeing....

go sit down with dd, just a waiting....talking to checkin lady, a mom of ds chat chat...well, time for her to go...I'll just wait for dh....Do you have my keys? No....why not go look in the are mine

DH comes back in church with keys...lets go...where is ds...he is videoing ...I don't know where...back/forth, back/forth, back/forth...I'm not in a good mood...I stare out the window..what am I doing here? why do I even go to church? no one would even notice if I wasn't here...

Start fixing lunch...meatloaf in crockpot during church...put mash pot in oven...go outside to take the green stuff and silky stuff off of the corn...better cook it before it goes bad....frustration and anger helps peeling corn least I have strength and force...cry a one hears...

chop ends off corn as water, this is hard...knife must be dull....not sure I could get through this without being so hurt....helps me to push even harder...I am careful to not cut my fingers....

lunch one is hungry....just, forget it, if they don't want to eat they can go hungry today...ds playing on computer with friend...other ds playing on his computer...dd comes to get some mashed pot...dh - he eats...he is is good, nice home cooked meal...sarcastically say...'wasn't that a nice family Sunday lunch'....'just what memories are made of'....dh offers to clean kitchen...

go upstairs...ask dd when she has to be at church for vocal recital...4...4:30...1...

I know but am tiffed that she is one a website I have not given her permission to be on it yesterday at friends' house...

I don't matter...people...children do what they want regardless of me...why do I even speak...who told you that you could be on this it one that i approved...who signed you up...ask your dad to take you to recital...why did you were that to church...want to be like others ...(first day she hasn't gotten dressed in church clothes...seemed to always like dressing up before...) why do you want to wear baggy you want to be big and fat too....

hurt! she is hurt! I blew it...she leaves goes to her...whats wrong dd? I was ugly to her?

I want to hurt myself...I wish I was not here...I lay down in bed and put covers over my least I can't hurt myself or others here...where can I go...

hours pass, I wake is empty...dd didn't put on recital dress we bought a month ago...but her shoes we got last night are gone...found a beautiful dress with sequins on sale at nice store...maybe she didn't really like it...

cry deeply...scream hurts so deeply...cry...cry...go to the ground...cry...out to God...honest with Him...he can take my honesty....

not sure I should write about this...but this is why I started blog...I wanted a place to be everyone can know the real ugly truth...

Well, I still have time to get to that vocal recital...maybe I can sneak in the back...I am so sorry...I thank God my children have my dh to be a great dad...dh got her to recital on time...I feel so unworthy of going but here I I will have to pretend....can't let anyone really know what has been going on...don't want to be sad...

where is that pretend smile...maybe I will find it on my way into church....