Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Here's a way to Help Your Teen Smile Deep Inside!


What makes you smile deep inside? Not a passing smile, but something that really connects and touches your soul. Something that makes you feel totally alive.


My ds, 13 yo, better known on my blog as teddybear was vomiting sick last night (no that doesn't make me smile, read on!)....


I am driving back from taking my oldest, GreatKnight (15yo) to a super high school Bible study...the ride home talk was not a keeper...we are in this intense discussion about why he thinks anger is the best motivator....he quotes some very 'old person who once said' (don't you love it when these famous old quotables don't have names...but it sound authentic and credible)...well this very old famous person is quoted by my GreatKnight to have said..."anger is greater than courage...and more useful in an honorable one-on-one hand to hand combat fight." (Just go with me...I have a son that loves history - especially medieval warfare.) We are in this real serious debate...bleep, bleep, bleep....my cell phone ring....


I can't get to it....(It's in the back seat...nice and out of the way with my stack of books)....bleep, bleep, bleep...it is near 10 pm...it has to be important....finally my GreatKnight reaches back (at my plead for help) and hands me the phone...


home calls...dd (my 'cupcake') is telling me that Teddybear is at this moment vomiting and I need to get home....I am only two streets away...so I let her know I will be there in a minute...


GreatKnight goes, "Isn't dad at home?" Like that is a relevant question, when you have a vomiting child....everyone knows a sick child needs a mommy's touch...moms just have that special way of holding drinks with a straw and wiping regurgitated chunks off of lips...she's comforting like chicken noodle soup or a home baked pie...not like anyone feels like eating one now because I have just been grossing you out about vomit....


I drive slowly...sometimes the present is more pressing than the next event...so explain this anger philosophy again...I look to my GreatKnight...He proceeds to reveal all the great wisdom of an all-knowing young teen...not like I haven't heard this philosophies of life before...


But it crosses my mind....what does God say about this...how does GreatKnight's view of anger stack up to God's view of it...I am not the standard barrier and all-knowing...but the great I AM is! So here I go..."What would God have to say about this anger philosophy...." No surprise, that question is not well received...I'm sure he is still wondering how did we get back to talking about Him again...


Well, I've done all I can...so I just suggest..."why don't I call your Bible teacher from tonight and ask him for his view on your life philosophy?" Sheer terror grips him....Noooooo!, not worldevangelist RL, I don't want him knowing my deep inner thoughts...what will he think of me...GreatKnight knows...because RL will tell him God's view....it's not that GreatKnight doesn't already know God's view...he just doesn't want to be exposed to RL for who he currently is and what he holds as his own personal warped worldview...he, like most of us, is a pretender at church and with church people...making the right church comments and morphing into a church kid...we all know how to make this transformation as our car rolls into the church parking lot...there should be a make-up department in some backlot of the church, we all play our casted rolls so well.


My dear GreatKnight gets out of the car that is now pleasantly parked in the driveway of our safe home where we can practice being real people. He leaves quickly and heads off to his bed. (There is a good ending to this story but it will have to wait til the next post)...this one is about the smiling deep inside...moments.


I am usher into the bathroom like the awaited traveling doctor from Little House on the Prairie Days....there is a big sigh of relief...the professional caretaker is here...Cupcake and MyBeloved can leave their posts.


Mommy flies into full swing...get the dirty stuff in the washer...get clean cloths...get the sick teddybear comfortable in his own bed...get the trash can close by...water with a straw...banana popscicles...gingerale...thermometer...soft pillow...all the comforts of tender loving care...and don't forget the mommy words of compassion applied with soft, gentle touches to the skin.


Every 15 minutes or so Teddybear calls out and mommy flies into the air to meet his every need...he needs me...my 13yo teddybear still wants me...I can't go sleep in my bed...not when he calls out for me...so I get my pillow and lay at the bottom of his bed providing the soft words, tender touches and the sips of ginger ale...into the night.


At 5 am, we wake. This is the deep smile part. We have one of those heart to heart talks. You know the ones that are about the all important "this or that"...but that comes with total connection, playful enjoyment, honest answers...


"Do I really embarrass you?"...."Only in public." "How?" "Like when we are in a store and you announce to everyone around -hey, go get me some toothpaste or we can't get that today." "Yeah, I really do that..." "Dad, leans over and whispers but you make a it public knowledge." Hmmm


Then the fun starts...everything I do he repeats...Hmmmm, head tilt, head tilt, kick legs, kick legs, mumble, mumble, kiss to the cheek....FREAK OUT! And we laugh, and I tickle, and we laugh again...definitely not something a 13yo teddybear can copy...the old mommy kiss...it will get them every time! "I love you so much!" And it really does feel all warm deep within my soul...and teddybear feels it too! Priceless!


So what makes you smile deep inside....watching a baby discover their hands or feet for the first time ....being handed the first flowers of spring...seeing your baby ride his bike solo after you let go...watching your child swing....standing in the rain....seeing a dog chase a butterfly...


So many special moments make up our days...we just need to be looking to see them...let me know ....what do you see....


3 comments:

  1. Yes, those special moments. :) What a joy to read this... your heart looking after them. :)

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  2. This is so beautifully written I honestly have tears in my eyes right now. And what strikes me the most is that while I fear I won't have these types of encounters and conversations with my children when they become teens, I see that it is possible to keep this closeness during those trying years. And that gives me great, great hope.

    Thank you!

    I *love* that part about make-up in the parking lot of church. That is golden!

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  3. I enjoy reading your heartfelt posts filled with reality, humor, love and soulful wisdom. There's nothing like a mother's devotion and to know that God loves us a million times more than a devoted mother, leaves me speechless. I also loved the part about needing a makeup department in the back lot of the church. It is so true that many don't live their truth, they only practice it when it is convenient. Thank you for sharing so deeply. Love and Blessings, Jamie

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