Are you like me?
Do you want to serve God but cannot figure out your ministry? Have you tried to do many things but it falls apart? Are do you offer to serve in areas and never get called? Do you feel overlooked and underused?
I have for most of my thirty years of my Christian walk. I know what I my talents are, and I even know my spiritual gifts. Still, I have a hard time discovering my specific ministry.
It has been frustrating and depressing. I know whose I am and I have studied His Word. God draws me in and points out so many truths. I feel bursting, overflowing.... yet, in many ways I feel rejected by people... and dare I say even the church.
I feel like serving in church is like being in a pinball machine. You step out to serve as the lever gets pulled back, the spring tightens and then in an instant you are launched into the activity. Only once you start moving you are constantly bumping into things and people. Some move you along quickly into another direction only to have you end up bumping into more things and people. However finally, you just become tired, exhausted, and fall away, leaving the building without even being noticed. Your turn is over. Your serving is done.
Is The Problem Me"What’s wrong with me?” has been my mantra lately. I have even set up an appointment with my Pastor to ask that precise question! (It takes over a month to get in to see him.) I really have wanted to know if there is something about me that I need to change.
Am I too vocal? Is it that I get excited and interrupt? Is it that I ask a lot of questions? Is it that I think about things too seriously? Do people not trust me, or do they feel uncomfortable around me?
I am certain it is a glaring problem that everyone but me knows. It is like a have lighting bolts crashing around my head yet I am clueless that I am even in a thunderstorm.
However, I know it is God who qualifies a person and ordains them for ministry. Since God has accepted and approved me by His grace, I am worthy and able through the power of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me. Even with my imperfections, God wants to minister through me for His glory.
"By God's grace and mighty power, I have been given the privilege of serving him by spreading this Good News.” Ephesians 3:7 NLT
Discover by Doing
My Simple Miracle
I started to go back to pray at my church in the morning. The prayer room is open from 6:30 am to 9. Anyone can come and go during this time. A year ago before I took a full-time teaching job I went very consistently for almost 6 months. I loved it! Going to the prayer room incorporated everything that I love in life. I felt so alive and so used by God. Especially when on occasion someone would enter the prayer room with an urgent need pressing on their heart.
God would nudge me to ask the person if they needed to pray. And this is where the miracle would happen over and over again. I was able to be used by God to pray for people by relying on the Holy Spirit and to minister to them in their time of need. It blessed the other person but it also blessed me.
I am alive. I have my place in God’s church and in ministry. It is perfect for me. Handpicked by God. Praise God who answers prayers!
You see, I repeatedly felt that I was suppose to pray at my church. So I tried the Monday night ministry, but something was off. I explored praying Sunday morning with people after service, yet that never worked out. I occasionally participated in special times of prayer but that only last an hour maybe once a year. I thought God wanted me to spot like a therapist, and He wanted me to simply be available to offer prayer. This thought kept coming up in my mind but it never seemed to materialize.
But God showed me today... He had already proved for me a way to do what He laid on my heart. No one needed to know I was functioning in this ministry. It was enough for it to be between God and me. He knew. He ordained it. He qualified me. And He would bring the people that needed to be personally prayed for by someone who listened to the Holy Spirit.
I am so joyful! I have finally discovered my ministry! I will listen, and follow, and go, wherever He leads.
(photo credit: deviantart: my watch begins by cobra-roll, blue skies green pasture by Blackstar 707, vintage gift box by lialeslie-d9w, dare by gothic narcissus-d7slhxyg)