It took about a two weeks after teaching for my neck and back muscles to stop cramping from being tense. Being “on” for students and administration can be exhausting -- that is what my last, long post was about -- the full-time exhaustion I felt. Now that I have had time to breathe, I am open to God to show me what he wants me to do next. I am placing my life in His hands and giving Him control.
When life (and responsibilities of work) start eating up my time, I struggle to find time for God. I wonder-- Do all people who work outside of the home full-time have this same problem?
And I am so behind with housework. I have so much to clean, so much to go through, and so much to through or give away. Yet, God tugs on my heart, so...
I opened the Bible this morning to Zephaniah 1:7 and read “Be silent in the presence of the Lord God; for the day of the Lord is at hand.” In Zephaniah, the prophet is giving a warning that troubled times are coming, he describes it as: "trouble and distress,” “devastation and desolation,” "darkness and gloominess,” and “clouds and thick darkness” (Z 1:15).
This reminds me of the paradox that while we can we need to be silent before God and seek Him, because we go through seasons of times that will be filled with greater stress.
This verse in Zephaniah reminds me of Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God...”.
When we think of prayer, we often think of talking. But God asks us to have times of drawing near and being silent, of being aware of His presence, that He is God. We are to bask in awe of Him. And if we are silent, we are in a position to listen.
When Samuel heard God’s voice, his response was “Speak, for Your servant hears” (1 Sam 3:10). It is through listening that we can know God’s heart for us. I often say I want to do God’s will, like I said in the beginning of writing this that “I am placing my life in His hands and giving Him control,” but this requires me to have a mind and heart that is ready, spending silent time in His presence. In doing so, I get to know God more, and by knowing God better, the desires of my heart will be more aligned with His.
Like a child, I need to approach God, not always with a heavy burdened heart, but with childlike dependence saying, “Here I am.” And then, allow myself the time to move into His presence, before I waste the whole day trying to do.
God wants me first to be, and receive from Him.
(photo credit: star childen III/9 by KVirtanen and a silent thought by sagavision -- both on deviantart)