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Showing posts from 2014

Sink the Sub - I Was the Target Substitute Teacher

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My last day to substitute teach in the local city schools I became the target of the upper elementary game "Sink the Sub." These students were quite astute at playing and I am certain many subs lay in their graveyard of the sea of humans they have hit. A fourth grade class should not be such a big deal for a 51 year old. (Think again!) This should come with every Substitute Folder Know the Dangers I deliberately knew what I was getting into. I chose to take to the waters of this dangerous sea. Only a month prior I worked half-day for a new teacher--an energetic, hardworking, determined twenty year old that was facing the turbulent waters of challenging students who themselves had been through their own individual wars in life. The first time I saw her I gave her a big hug; I wanted to be an encourager to her; she had enough behavior issues in her class of 24 that could make tsunami waves. She had to learn how to sail in rough waters and to remain the captain of her

Is Jesus Enough? At Christmas and throughout the Year

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Good tidings to you and all of your kin! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Joy to the World and Goodwill to all men! Peace on Earth! These are cheery exclamations we read and hear at this time of the year. And when I begin to write from my heart I feel like I am more like the Prophet Jeremiah writing a Book of Lamentations. No wonder I don't have the most popular blog and a thriving following of people longing to return to what deep, dark insight I will be sharing today. Alas, I am who I am and I must be true to that, so here I share for all who can bear to endure and maybe glean some insight to their own heart and thoughts of others. Prayer Time In my meager attempt to return to practicing being in the presence of God, I lightly pressed my hands upon my face as I laid in bed and turned my thoughts to Him. On Christmas Eve, at 9 a.m. my house was already active with noise. So I really had to work on concentrating, focusing myself on being with God. Hearing my teen son runn

Heartache at Christmas

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Christmas is a wonderful time! So many people enjoy it as their favorite holiday of the year. Some decorate each room of their home so beautiful. Americans even have nationwide contest for who has the best lighted property. People go through so much planning to make everything special. And still, many others hurt deeply during Christmas. The holiday highlights brokenness in family relationships; it brings the grief of those lost to death; it presents several occasions where individuals who do not spend much time together must share gifts, food and time. Holiday parties can be awkward and feel forced. "Hallmark vs. Reality"  Most people have a desire to have a "Hallmark" Christmas where even if things are not perfect, in the end everything works out for the best and love prevails in the most magical way possible. Of course, some families really do experience wonderful Christmases. They actually know and love each other deeply. They have meaningful holida

He Calms The Storm

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At my home church on Sunday morning, we have been going verse by verse through The Gospel Book of Matthew. The apostle and author, Matthew, is teaching us that Jesus is God in Chapter 1 - 9. Jesus begins ministering by healing the sick. And just after he teaches on the cost of discipleship, he gets into a boat and his disciples follow him. He Calms The Storm (Storm by NicolasEariste on Deviantart) Let's take this up in Matthew 8:24: And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with waves. But He [Jesus] was asleep. Then His dispels cam to Him and awoke Him saying, "Lord, save us! We are perishing!"   But He said to them, "Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?" Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. So the men marveled saying, "Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?" Old Testament Teaching This morning as I was cleaning the kitchen, emptying th

Are Love Letters Real?

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Dating is so hard! Do love letters complicate it? Watching my children experience dating relationships, I can really see the strong benefits of waiting to find your mate when you are ready to marry. We always taught our children this but "courtship" is so antiquated. To us, "Ready to marry" means you are financially stable enough to support a wife and begin a family. Of course, no one is ever that ready so it means you have a steady job, a means of support. This is the ideal, not the one and only standard. What to Say in Love Letters (love letters by Lizkit50 on deviant art) My husband and I got married at 21; we have been married for 30 years. We had no money; well, $300 if you count the money we got as marriage gifts. We had no jobs. I had recently graduated as an LPN (licensed practical nurse) preparing to support my husband through college. We moved to a new city, Nashville, TN, as a newlywed couple. I still have the first groceries receipt that took

When To Stop Talking

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I have a serious problem. I don't know when to stop talking, and I cross many lines of comfortability for other people. I have always noticed I have had a relationship problem. I figured it was due to my abusive childhood and not learning developmentally how to properly relate to people. I never blamed my past or my parents. It was more of something that I accepted as one of the many side effects of my terrible childhood; I thought something hardwired into my brain that I had not yet learned to change. And this probably is true, but God made our brain malleable. You can teach an old dog new tricks! You can also grow new brain cells and habitual pathways or lack of them, as the case may be. But, I like most people had something blocking me. You see, it is very hard to learn to change something you can't identify. I notice the glassed over eyes or ones that dart beyond my head and know that the person I am speaking to either needs to be doing something else, would rath

Obedience, Disobedience - Depends on your Worldview - 21st Century Parenting

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What is obedience? This answer depends on your Worldview. This is an issue my husband and I have been reassessing as our children grow into adults. We are reflecting on our own choices and experiencing the consequences. We are also learning to improve our own choices to be better parents. The the big questions that most people have pondered at some time in their life are: Who gets to decide? Who makes up the guidelines, the rules, the moral code? Who decides what is right or wrong? Even the atheist or agnostic has decided on some kind of base system of a moral code, such as: It is wrong to kill your neighbor. It is wrong to walk up to a person and take what is his. It is wrong to make up lies to defame a person, to spread false rumors and damaging gossip. It is wrong to have sex with your child, your relative. Almost everyone in a society of civilized people can agree on these. They seem fair to all. But beyond this, the rules of wrong are harder to categorize. Mo

Rebellious Children, Rebellious Adults

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Do you have a strong willed child? Do you have a child that creates tension in the home, chaos or brings you to tears regularly? First , recognize that God hand picked each of your children. He is completely sovereign and knew beforehand what you and your children needed. Never question His will or His plan. It is perfect. The experiences that you will encounter because of a particular child are the exact ones you need, and vis-versa, the relationship your child is given is what he or she needs to grow into being the person of God he or she was created to be. God makes no mistakes and nothing is a coincident. Second , you can teach your children and shape their experiences, but you do not make their choices. Every single person is born with freewill. If your child has a strong independent will and chooses to disobey regardless of the consequences, it is not your fault. Of course, no earthly parent will ever be perfect, but if you commit your children to God and bend your wil

I Love The Church

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I have gone through seasons as a Christian of nearly three decades of struggling in local church congregations: mostly feeling like I simply didn't fit in, not being able to find a place to belong, not building strong relationships and once deeply serving seeing the dirty side of the local church--the politics of those who rule the organization.  So our family went through a new season for about three years: we were unchurched. It was not that we didn't want to be in a church.  Beautiful old church in PA that I visited. Like many old church buildings it is being repurposed for other uses than worshipping God, because congregations in the NE of USA no longer are large enough to be housed in and to financially afford such a church building. I confess, I was exhausted; I felt so beat up, rejected and unaccepted. I smile when I wrote "rejected and unaccepted" thinking isn't that the same thing, but realizing that it is actually two different kinds of ac

Transforming Grace

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He saw more-- Potential, Than I saw In myself. Heirs of His-- Legacy, Transforming-- Grace, For all the-- Human race. Ragamuffins, Weary orphans Who discover-- The Delight Of being Sons And Daughters Of their Heavenly Father. No more fear, But freedom-- To chose their Eternal Destiny. All to share, Sufficient-- Love and Care His grace is Always There. To every burden, That remains, It can bear, And unchain.

Do You Have Mental Illness In Your Family? I Can Help

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What a bold thing to say, that I can help if you have mental illness in your family. I am not a doctor or a therapist licensed by the government. What possibly could I know or do? You were created to live free. (photo by simoendli on Deviantart) First-hand experience is often a better teacher than books, professors, lectures and clinical practice. I have lived with mental illness for 50 years. My father had it, so did my mother, my grandmother and then when I was young adult I faced the fact that have had it. As I grow older, I know many others who have struggled with mental illness in their family. Living with mental illness, but not surrendering to it, I have learned a lot. I have learned to be an overcomer, not a victim. I have learned to get help, not to deny it or give in to it. But still, what makes me different? Why can I- not so boldly say- "I can help"? How can I offer help when so many others in the world also have mental illness? Having something does

Raising A Christian Child

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As a Christian homeschoolering parent, I raised our children to live life as a Christian, to live with a Christian worldview, to live in the world but to not be one of the world.  Credits: Family by Shadowsplicer Deviantart I never considered how to raise a non-Christian. I simply wanted my child to be prepared for how to live as a Christian in a non-Christian world. I wanted them to be strong enough as an individual to be able to stand on their own two feet. I wanted their faith to be their own, not mine. Therefore, I taught my children more than anything how to think. It has not always been easy because my children question everything. They do not just believe something because it was taught or spoken. To some degree, they mentally challenge it. And for this I am glad.  Peer Pressure - Outside Influence I think the biggest thing I was not prepared for was the strong influence of peer pressure. I felt my children being secure in knowing they were loved by two paren