"Less of me and more of God" is the mantra I want to embody, but oh, how self-centered and self-seeking I can be.
|photo credit: sublimeone/deviantart|
Just yesterday I saw someone that I had not seen in years. I greeted her cheerfully and was encouragingly responding to what she was sharing about her life. Then bam! out of nowhere I got clubbed over the head by her comments toward me. She shared her observations and reflections of one of my children as she knew him/her when he/she was younger and was telling me what problems she clearly observed in this child in particular but how she didn’t share it because she figured I was in denial and would not listen anyway. It was a learning disability. She said from her experience parents didn’t want to know.
I was dumbfounded. What? How? Why?
Then she added, "Well, you are a teacher, aren’t you? I figured you obviously KNEW because of your experience with children and simply was either choosing not to do something or you were in denial."
I went to my car and wept. I called a dear friend and we prayed for the comments to not attach to me and for the person who made them.
But God in His ever teaching way had me remember a few times that I have opened my mouth and probably clobbered others over the head with my words. I knew I was guilty too of hurting others.
As far as the situation with my child, he/she is doing the best in his/her life right now and I am so proud of the step he/she is making. We have prayed a lot for this chid and God is working in many ways answering prayers.
I recognize that I could have been permanently devastated, resentful and unforgiving... but that would only hurt me and because of my own words I often need to ask forgiveness of others. I simply need to release it to God and let it help me to grow.
Today I have on my schedule a meeting with someone who has been in my life for over 15 years on a professional basis but who has recently spoken to one of my children and hurt them deeply. I set this appointment up last week and, as God would have it, he gave me a powerful lesson on the ability of words to speak life or death. In my meeting today, I am praying for God to guide me to speak words of life, and to be gentle and compassionate as I explain our perspective of the previous hurtful conversation.
God has always wanted to get my attention and to help me get my words under the control of His Holy Spirit. I am grateful that he is a patient, long-suffering teacher.
So, here i am Lord. I am crawling back onto your potter’s wheel and asking you to mold me, continually, to be your vessel.
Thankfully today that my devotion is “Find Your Purpose”!
“For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10