Lose Your Insecurity

We all struggle with insecurity. We never feel like we measure up, that we are good enough. But what are we trying to measure up to and who are we trying to be good enough for? We live in a world where we are continually judged and criticized, not always in a negative way but simply as part of life. People all around us are looking at the way we look, act, and speak and making decisions about us. They are thinking about if they like us, if they would like to know us, if they would want to work with us or include us. We want to be accepted, invited, wanted and ultimately loved.

But whose opinion matters? People are so fickle and frankly it is so hard to please people. You can be “in” with them one day and “out” the next. So many people treat others as trash that can be discarded whenever they feel like it. Instead of cherishing the velveteen rabbit that has been with them throughout the ups and downs in life, they one day look at the raggedy stuffed thing and want to toss it away for something new or different. Relationships can be so painful, but in life they are so necessary. We were created to be in relationship, so how can we ever lose insecurity?

It all depends on who we value as the one to tell us our worth. Are you love able? Are you accepted? Are you precious just the way you are today?

Solomon speaks to his beloved,

“You are absolutely beautiful, my darling, with no imperfection in you.” (Song of Solomon 4:7)

Background

Christians learn that the book the Song of Solomon (Song of Songs) is a love story between a man (Solomon, King of Israel) and his love, Shulamith (daughter of Peace), but also an allegory of Christ’s love for his church. Solomon asked God to grant him wisdom and God did this.

While we have Holy Spirit inspired writings (God-breathed words) from Solomon we also know from accounts in the Bible that Solomon as a King and man did not always please God, especially in his later years of life; Solomon is not the ideal we should be following. However, Jesus is! And these beautiful words written by Solomon are words of adoration spoken from one who loves his bride. God loves His people, His chosen, His beloved.

Biblically, we know that as children of God, we are his bride. We are to enjoy the fullness of love in knowing God, through our relationship initiated by Jesus and enabled by the Holy Spirit who dwells within us. Continually, the Bible speaks of this mystery -- Christ in us and we in Christ. However, it is a fact by faith that we must embrace, confess and meditate upon, allowing God through the Holy Spirit to not only help us to understand it but to experience it: God dwells in us and loves us.

Frankly, if we really believed that the very person who created the universe--every plant, animal, star and human--loved us so much that he called us “absolutely beautiful, my darling, with no imperfection” we would not believe the lies of insecurity that beat us down and make us doubt ourselves.

This is an ever-growing problem within the hearts of people. I am sometimes surprised to hear people who seem to be so confident, so accomplished, so successful utter sincere words of insecurity. People question everything about how they look, what they say, do and don’t say and do. We live in continual doubt. And isn’t doubting the very way the sneaky, serpent Satan drew Eve to sin in the very first place? He asked her, “Did God really say that?” leaving a lingering question within her mind and heart, turning her away from God.

When we turn our focus from God onto others and listen to the half-truths or insinuations of others, we can be so easily fooled and led astray.

Insecurities rob us of peace.


King Solomon spoke these words of complete love to Shulamith to illustrate how love brings peace to us. How if we believe with all of our mind and heart that God truly loves us and sees us complete in Christ, completely righteous as Jesus was righteous, with no imperfection, we could be set free from the bondage of insecurity.

Application

We need to continually renew our mind remembering that God approves of us, loves us, is in the process of completing us and when he looks upon us he sees the completed work of Christ, not our sins, failures, and shortcomings. The Bible teaches us that “He who began a good work is faithful to complete us.” (Phil 1:6) So while we are not yet, perfect/complete, God can sees us completed/perfected because he is the one who is going to be faithful to complete us.

Therefore, when we are tempted to doubt ourselves or when someone else criticizes us, we need to only look to God and sees what his response is. He says, “You are absolutely beautiful, my darling, with no imperfection.” If God is pleased then should we not also be pleased?

Of course this does not mean you and I currently have no areas in our life to learn to become obedient to God and christlike, just the opposite. It means that we are continually in God’s process of completion and the we are trusting HIM to be faithful to complete us to be totally Christlike. Are we finished? no. Are we in the process and being finished by God? yes

And it is in this fact that we can, no, we must rest, having peace and being secure in what God thinks about us!

We must rest in being fully confident that God is pleased with us and the progress we are making.

Of course, we can only feel this way if we are indeed having our own personal time with God throughout the day, living in His presence, and being obedient to Him. I can tell you all day this is what God says and thinks about you but until you hear it firsthand from Him you will not have the same peaceful security. You need to be able to hear God’s voice inside when other’s question you and reject you. You need to know firmly that you are precious to God and pleasing Him, and that is everything!