Monday, May 11, 2015

Are You a Human Punching Bag or Do you Throw the Punches?

Let me begin by saying you should never allow yourself to be a human punching bag, either physically, emotionally or verbally. We should treat ourselves with dignity and expect others to treat us kindly also.

Photo Credit: Punched by Dreaminit DeviantArt

I have three different blogs. Sometimes I have a hard time figuring out which one I should post an article. Although most of the time I do not since each serves a unique purpose. This is my life blog. It is general and is about what I experience or learn as I walk through what I long ago called "womanhood".  In another one of my blogs I only write articles/posts that are about PTSD/Abuse/Trauma and healing from severe child abuse that I lived through for 18 years and many adult years after. And a final one is the one I like to call raw; it is a rambling of thoughts or inner feelings that are not well filtered; it is purposely a view behind the inner veil, my naked self at some of my most vulnerable moments.

I am in the process of working on my personal website to have a place to combine the location for these three and to add a few other things. This past Sunday my Pastor that I dearly love made a comment about people who have their own personal website; he was speaking of pastors in specific who use them to bring attention to themselves or possibly glory instead of it going to God. For a moment it made me question whether I should have a website with my own name on it; I say for a moment because I know God created me to be a writer; Words run through me as the blood pumps through my veins; if I had no way to communicate my head would probably explode with all the ideas running through it. Writing has often been my lifeline. In my weakest moments I write. But it is also my strength. In my best moments I write as I reflect on what God is doing or has done.

Some people are born speakers, musicians, artist, designers, etc. for me I am a writer. I do think if I was a man I would strongly want to be a preacher. I would love to give a sermon every Sunday. It is so exciting to read God's Word to grow with Him and learn as much as you can about what He says and then to share that with people. I truly believe God gave the office of Pastor to men, that doesn't mean a woman can't teach or speak to the church, even in a Sunday service. It does mean that as the husband should be the head of the household loving his wife as Jesus loves the church, that the Pastor of the church should be a man representative loving the body of his church. God does gender; He has roles for males, females and children.

Photo Credit: The Fight by Snapshotsequence DeviantART

I was recently told this:
You like.most self.proclaimed Christians are some of the most judgmental, condescending and shallow individuals I have ever known. Disrespectful to call yourself a follower of Christ. You embody none of His faith, mercy, love, grace nor consideration, especially for those who know what you have allowed and turned your back on in this lifetime. Cast your stones. I don't chose to have your dysfunctional and depressing relationship as part of my life. Find your peace but I won't be your punching bag.
It is not the first time and I am quite sure it will not be the last that I will be accused in such a way by a person. Of course I allow this to be filtered through by God, His Word and faith. Thankfully, I know that because I am a follower of Jesus I am a work in progress, not perfected or completed. I rest in this truth regularly. Certainly, I am many times not a good model of Jesus. I need ever so desperately to learn to speak truth in mercy and love. I get in more trouble than most, though, because I do speak the truth. It is hard for me to bite my tongue when a glaring lie or hypocrisy is being spoken or taking place before my eyes.

When words are filtered in by God's grace, we can learn. As my Pastor also said this weekend we can take in what we need or what is truth and throw the bones out.

For anyone who has ever felt that I treated you like a punching bag, I am sorry. I do know that I have times when I have trouble letting things go or being left unsaid. I need to grow in letting God be the gatekeeper of my mouth and to be SLOW to speak. You might think this is funny but I have literally applied duck tape over my mouth so I would not response in a negative way or in anyway to one of my children when he/she was speaking; it solved the deep urge to speak or reply. I think I mumbled under the tape.

If it was not for Grace, I would have been cast out of God's kingdom long ago. I am so thankful that God is the one that accepts us as a Christ follower and He even keeps us. 

It may not seem like it but I am sealed by the Holy Spirit; He amazingly lives within me; I am a temple of God. So I am grateful when less of "lindy" shines through and more of God is able to touch people's lives. The Bible does teach "less of me and more of him" though I think we often enjoy "more of me and less of him;" interestingly, I am trying to embrace more of him and more of "me" as God created me to be. Each of us are unique and purposely created to be a glorious example of His divine image.

More times than I like to remember, I have been cast aside as a dysfunction part of someone's life. 

It is good to not allow someone to treat you as a human punching bag. So I accept this fate, losing people, as part of life now. It used to sting more but after happening so many times the pain of loss is dull. (that sounds so uncaring) Yet, interestingly almost all of the people who cut me off for a season, have become a part of my life again. The relationship is not the same but there is a mutual love and deeper appreciation of one another. The daily or weekly sharing and kindred close following of our inner lives has been lost; trust is a hard thing to re-establish; still, we do love and are thankful for each other in a different permanent way. Of course, several people have cast me off and never glanced back but the truth of those relationships is that there really was not one in the first place; we never made it to friendship.

Photo Credit: by Shinoki DeviantArt

Relationships are fragile unless you have a commitment, a vow, like I do with my precious husband of 31 years. I am very grateful for God giving me a life-mate that would not include the "d-word" (divorce) in his vocabulary. He truly did marry me for better or worse, richer or poorer, until death we do part. That is an unconditional gift of love from one person to another because as people we are fumbling around trying to do the best we can with the life we have been given.

Thank you for listening.

Allow yourself to be cherished. Let those who mistreat you walk away or if necessary you be the one to walk away and shut the door. God wants us to love others and we can't do this if we are being torn down or picked apart on a regular basis. We need to let God fill us up with His love and acceptance and don't look at releasing painful relationships as something bad. It is good for the season until the other person grows in grace. And of course, you will grow also.

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