Monday, January 19, 2015

Who Is Using Who? Hypocrite or Honor?

Relationships are challenging. We cannot see into someone else's brain so we do not know the motives of another person. Though we are pretty quick to guess or assume, if people do not genuinely (truthfully) communicate, we have no real way to know them as a person or to understand their motives. In communicating to someone guarded, it is easy to hurt them by assuming we know why they did or did not do something.

For example, if someone does not call or answer to messages sent, is it because they are upset, do not want to talk or maybe they have messed up so many times in the relationship they simply do not want to mess up again. In reality, no one knows but the person himself. We can all come up with different assumptions.

Unfortunately, when a person does not share, they leave themselves open to many assumptions. It is natural for humans to fill in blanks. It is the way our mind is programmed to work. Look at this:

U_d-rstan_i_g   w_at   _s  writ__n  c_n  b_  fi_l_d   _n   b_  o_r    br__ns.

It does not always work for everyone but most people find "understanding what is written can be filled in by our brains." We do it naturally all the time without even realizing it. Our brain looks for logical connections that we have experience with to fill in the gaps.

But, is it hypocritical to assume you know what someone thinks or what their motives are when your conclusion does not give the person the benefit of the doubt to being honorable?

My husband has the amazing gift of assuming the absolute best about everybody and everything in all situations. It is a wonderful way to life and often people are blessed by his outlook, because he sees the best in people. He sees what God sees. He sees what they could be or will become if they surrender to God in their life.

So, when people call my husband because they know how he will respond, is that because they are using him or is it because they genuinely are honoring his gift. God alone is able to know a person's motives. When I think a person may be acting hypocritical or may be using my husband, is it possible that he is a person's last hope? He is a safe place. He is an answer to people who need a place to turn when everyone else has been fed up. He is full of mercy and grace.

And, is that not just like God?

Today, I was thinking the person contacting my husband was a hypocrite, because after ignoring my husband for months he called him when he needed financial help. However, I think God is showing me that the hypocrite might be me because I see that my husband is responding more often like Christ. My husband tries to see every contact as a possible opportunity to show someone Jesus and to help draw them to God.

Oh, God give me the wisdom to know when to say "yes" and when to say "no" and most importantly, when to be silent. Help me to see the best in people and to not be so prone to being critical. In the end, give me Your eyes, ears and heart for people.

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