Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Four Most Important Communication Words

So many books have been written on the topic of communication. Poor communication can be a relationship killer. I don't know about you but I am a slow learner! It has taken me about a year to not only hear four healing words, but to learn to put them in practice.

"What Do You Need?" It is such an easy question, but so necessary if we want to genuinely restore trust in hurting and broken relationships. The same four word can bring comfort, love and significance to those that we really care about to ensure that communication doesn't need to be repaired.
Teen years can be very difficult. Children are learning to think for themselves and make decisions about who they want to be and how they want to live. Parents often find themselves scrambling to learn how to adjust to a child that is changing right before their eyes.

A few weeks ago I was walking down the street with my 13 yo ds, Teddy Bear. I could tell something was wrong ... he had a teen attitude... any parent of a teen knows what I am talking about. I didn't want to just let it go... I want to know what he was thinking, what was wrong, was he hurt, did he need help.

So I asked him to walk with me. By walking we began to talk. At a point down the road, I asked him, "What do you need?" This simple question opened up a world of conversation. As I listened, I was able to see his heart.

In amazement he finally turned to me and said, "I need you. Mom, I need you!" Wow! My thoughts began to think "sure. you need food, clean clothes, a bed.... all the things I do for you.... Is that what you are trying to say?" I blundered. "No, Mom, I NEED you. I need you to be my mom." Shocked to hear my teen son say he needed me.... Honestly, I don't know if anyone has ever said that to me in my life. Trying to absorb them meaning and the words, I reached over for a hug and said, "Thank you, I love you."

We walked back home a little closer, and definitely more understanding of each other.

Don't miss these blessing! Take the time to talk to your loved ones. Ask, "What do you need?" even in an intense conversation. These are healing words, helping words, giving words, caring words. The may be the four most important communication words.

"What do you need?" asked with a listening heart.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.


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